You’re working on something and suddenly you’re visited by an unexpected thought. That’s right, you’re having an idea. How do you know you’re having an idea? Simple, having an idea is the one thing your inner critic will always respond to. Always! That’s what he’s waiting for. In fact it’s his very reason of existence. So when he decides to pay you a visit, you’ll know for sure that you’re having an idea. Think of your inner critic as your idea’s obnoxious little side kick. And since he’s going to show up anyway, here are a few ideas that give your newborn idea a fighting chance.

1) Ignore him

Granted, that does sound a little too simple. And, chances are, if you were any good at it, you wouldn’t be reading this article. Still, it is an option. You can ignore him (or her of course, but I’ll continue to call him him for practical reasons) by going deeper into the experience of whatever it is you’re doing. If you’re drawing something, draw 10 minutes longer. If you’re working on a business plan, add another paragraph. Try to get into the flow of things. The thing is that your average inner critic only operates on the surface, which means that once you are submerged in whatever it is you’re doing, he’ll be out of the picture.

It’s a very simple approach, it’s anything but easy, but in quite a few cases it simply works. 

2) Listen to him

Imagine you gave him the silent treatment, but he still won’t shut up. As strange as it might seem, why not listen to him? Wait, I didn’t say obey him, I said listen to him. Since you’re having a conversation with yourself anyway, you might as well make the best of it.

Your inner critic is often very blunt to downright offensive and hurtful. Yet no matter how hateful he is, he is undeniably a part of you and that part of you is trying to tell you something. So pull up a chair, sit and calm down, turn to him and acknowledge his existence. Talk to him and say something along the lines of ‘Thanks for being here. What is it you would like to tell me? What are you trying to protect me from? What would you need to be at ease and have faith in me? What do you think I need to take into account to make this work? How else would you be able to help me?’ And listen to his answers.  

There is a very good possibility that he will no longer shout at you, call you names, make you feel inferior or belittle you. In fact, there a very real chance that he too will pull up that chair and rephrase all the things he has been saying to you into something you could actually use. Don’t forget to thank him!

3) Rebel against him

Give a child ten toys and say that one toy is of limits, take a wild guess which toy it will be drawn to. Tell a teenager that he/she can’t smoke…oh well, you get the idea. Whenever someone feels the need to invest time and energy in telling you something isn’t good for you, that will only underline its importance and strengthens its appeal. And what do we do when we find ourselves in such a situation? We rebel. We go around people’s backs to find out for ourselves. We do it anyway. Sound familiar? Well, there you are. You have it in you to rebel against your inner critic. ‘So, you’re telling me I can’t do this or try out that? Just you wait and see!’ The harder your inner critic goes after your idea’s jugulars, the more appealing it becomes to do it anyway. There’s a perk too. By using this approach you’ll remember what it felt like to be a rebellious teenager, which was just about the best part of being a teenager, so go ahead. Have a ball.

4) Don’t play his game

This isn’t so much of a technique, rather an advice to stay very much aware of the way you’re interacting with your inner critic. He’ll throw something at you and you will be tempted to react.

Inner citic: ‘You’re no good at this’

You: ‘Yes, I am.’

Inner critic: ‘Are not!’

You ‘Am too!

Inner critic: ‘You are a loser. You know you are and you know you always will be.’ Etc etc…

Let’s step back here for a minute and take a look at what is going on. Your inner critic pokes you and you react slightly agitated, which is exactly what he was after. You just fed him with enough negative energy that allows him to take another swing at you. And what do you do? You feed him again with time and energy you could have been spending on your idea, the very idea he’s trying to keep you from pursuing. You cannot and will not win this. There is only one way out of this and that is to not get into it. Do NOT play his game. He’s better than you at this and will beat you. Don’t go there!

5) Do play his game

Or maybe you should. Why not indulge him by giving him exactly what he tells you to do. In fact, you should overdo it and really get into the part, Greek tragedy like. By dramatically acting out the part he is playing it won’t even take a minute before you will be laughing out loud. You will experience how silly your inner critic can be, stripping him from any authority over you or your ideas. You may want to consider using this technique before that job interview, not during. Just a thought. Although that could be my inner critic talking.

In any case, if you’re looking to stare the biggest ney-sayer of them all right in the face, try looking in the mirror. Or as an acquaintance of mine once said: ‘If you were to say the things I say to myself out loud, I would punch you in the nose’, which pretty much sums it up. Altough I do sincerely hope that with these 5 hints, you feel a little more confident of getting inside that ring and fight for what you feel and know is worth fighting for.

Take care,

Karl

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