Last week I had a workshop on personal creativity with “Pinching the Ostrich” as the main theme. After I had presented the participants with the principles and general outline of the various challenges and consequent timing, I got two very helpful remarks.

The first one was concerned with the seemingly egocentric character of the project. “It’s all about you”, one participant pointed out. “But what about your family? How other people’s feeling and ambitions within your close circle?”
The second remark was about the rigid timing and planning of the whole thing, which would seem to contradict the need for spontaneity and incubation during a creative process. These are two very good points that I would like to address.

It’s true, “Pinching the Ostrich” is rather egocentric. After all, whose project is it? Mine. Whose ambitions are on display? Mine. Whose experiences is this all about? Mine. Whose picture is all over the website? Wait for it… It’s mine! How egocentric can one get, right?

Well, it depends on which definition of “egocentric” you would choose. To my knowledge, there are two. There’s egocentric as in: “Thinking only of oneself, without regard for the feelings or desires of others.”
I can see why PtO would give that impression. I hardly mention anyone or anything else but what’s relevant to yours truly. I don’t talk about my wife’s part in this of what consequences doing this pinching business has on my children, and so on and so forth…
The reason why that is, lies in the second definition of the word egocentric: “Centred in or arising from a person's own existence or perspective.”

You see, I am four months into the experiment now and I am indeed very much aware that my thoughts and actions are very much me-centred. At this point – and maybe so for the rest of the journey – it is very hard to concentrate on being both a participant and a spectator of the “Pinching the Ostrich” process. But my wife, children, family, friends, colleagues, etc. do indeed play a major part in this. A lot of things I do and don’t do, is exactly because of the delicate balance between myself and them. It is a balance that I cherish more than my words are able to express.
In a very real way, “Pinching the Ostrich” is not at all meant to be at their expense at all. It is quite the contrary. Could it be that bringing out the best in myself is actually beneficial to them as well? As long as what I do and how I do it takes my loved ones into account, does Pinching your personal Ostriches make sense? I truly believe so.

Although it’s true that there is a real risk that, unintentionally, things will turn out for the worse. I just don’t think that stopping PtO will guarantee that such things would never occur. Maybe, it’s even because you are so aware of the impact of your own action on others, that the contrary is true. How much time do we consciously spend on what we ourselves can do to become more accomplished persons so that the people we love are inspired and even invited to do the same?

The reason I hardly ever mention my loved ones is because it’s not up to me to expose their stories. The public part of PtO is my personal choice and my personal responsibility. It’s not up to me to decide for others what, where, when and how they should – if ever or at all – tell their story. And even if I did, how would I be able to talk about them, other than from my own personal point of view. How would that be less egocentric? How would that not be “centred in or arising from my person's own existence or perspective?”

One the rigid timing part of the process: True, my journey is packed with tasks and to-do’s and time consuming challenges and preset goals. That in it self would seem to go against the grain of what creativity ought to be: a process that allows comfortable and uncomfortable silences, moments - if not months - of incubation, time and space for unexpected wonder, letting go and change of plans.

Again, good point. And here too, it’s about finding balance. The question I try to answer is along the lines of what’s the use of incubating if you have nothing or too little to incubate. And so I fill the proverbial well with experiences and study up to the point where the well starts to spill. How else can I find out what and how that works for me? But, I do agree that chances of something creative happening when all you do is check off to-do lists is close to none what so ever.

What’s more, no matter how much you try to control life, life has the tendency to control you. Sometimes we don’t get to choose our circumstances. But wherever we find ourselves at any given time, we always have the choice how to react to those circumstances. Case in point, four weeks ago, An’s grandmother passed away quite unexpectedly. She was an 88-year old stronghold of zest and joie de vivre. But in a timeframe of a mere 12 hours, she was gone. We were all left in acute shock.

What confused all of us even more was the fact that granny was the last of her generation in both our families. Both An and my grandparents are all gone now. What used to be our living testimony to e.g. World War II, were both my and An’s grandfather were held in German POW camps, has gone from lively memory into silent family history. It is an eerie thought that has been with me for the last month. And since grandma’s unanticipated passing, coincided with the busy weeks prior to the Roller Skating Gala the entire family has been caught up in, you can imagine that my rigid planning suddenly made no sense at all. I had to let it go, sometimes partially, sometimes entirely.
Yet at the same time, there were moments that the rigidity of my agenda was the only thing that still made sense. Granny would never have allowed me to get sloppy. Not on her behalf, she wouldn’t!

And so April wasn’t my finest month. But I do believe it was a very meaningful one. We shared tremendous joy finishing the Gala so successfully and we shared bitter tears over granny, who would have been so proud of An and the children. Her chair remained empty on opening night. We were overjoyed and shattered at the same time.

I didn’t plan this. Of course I didn’t. It may very well even be so that this entire journey is not about the 1 million things I can plan up front at all, but about the one thing I never saw coming. But that’s OK. I don’t have all the answers, nor will I ever claim to. Why go through all this trouble if I already had and did?

And if I were to find mine, how big are the odds that my answers would answer your questions? I can only assume that your questions are entirely different from mine. So by all means, find your own answers.

Is this Pinching business the right and only way to do whatever it is I am out to do? I don’t know. That’s what I am trying to find out, apparently quite egocentrically and rigidly. And yes, maybe that in it self does mean I’m getting it all wrong. But then again, maybe that’s the lesson. If it is, I welcome it, because even if I loose, I win.

Take care,
Karl

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