"It’s an amazing thing when you realize you still have the ability to amaze yourself.
Makes you wonder what else you can do you have forgotten about."
Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey), American Beauty.

I did it. I actually did it. I finished the 5K running program tonight. 27 runs ago I couldn’t do a single lap on the track without having to catch my breath for a little while. Now I can do 5k. And what a perfect night to make that mark.

The weather was just perfect: cloudy, fairly windy and a minute away from pouring. I started running quite unaware of the surroundings. It was just the wind that bothered me on one side of the track, while assisting me when running on the other side. But halfway the 32 minutes training it was as if someone switched on the stadium lights. I saw my own shadow running in front of me. It was the gibbous moon that caught me in her spotlight. It was as if she was saying, look at you, you’re doing great! The pale yet bright moonlight lit up the poplars that were waving in the wind. They looked like they were doing a Mexican wave, just for me. What a crowd. The only opposition I got was every half lap from the gusts of wind telling me this wasn’t over until it was over. And when it finally was, I threw my arms up in the air as if finishing first in the Olympics. Holy whatever, I did it.

OK, I can hear you thinking out loud: “A 5k run? You finished a crappy distance no one will ever care about and you’re acting as if you’re friggin’ Kenenisa Bekele? C’mon!”
Hey, I know this isn’t a big deal by comparison. By comparison to a much respected world record holder that is, or even the tens of thousands that can hop this distance backwards on one leg in half the time I need to get my shoes tied. But that’s hardly the point. I wasn’t out there to beat you or any other runner. I was out there to beat the one person I need to show that he is capable of far more than his inner critic often gives him credit for. I was out there to beat me! And I did. So whatever you want to throw at me, go right ahead. You’re not going to be able spoil my Mexican wave poplar moment anyhow. Give my one good reason why one should want to live up to standards, imposed on them by other people, when most of the time that doesn’t serve any other purpose than to make that other person feel good about him/herself at the expense of whom that standard was imposed upon? Living up to your own standards is hard, delicate and ambitious enough as it is. And quite frankly, they are the only relevant ones. So what are your standards? What is their relevance? How do they make your life, and the lives of the ones you care about, a little better every time you live up to, or even exceed them? I’m not trying to be patronizing here. I’m genuinely curious.

Anyway, the 5k mark I just made, isn’t a finish line, it’s a milestone towards the next stage in reaching my 2009 fitness goals. Up next, interval training.

So here are the weekly numbers:

The Moleskine memoirs: 6/7
The dauntless daydream: 7/7...I'm beginning to notice these are starting to come naturally. As if they are becoming second nature. I sometimes catch myself daydreaming on a question or challenge, problem or opportunity and suddenly realize that I'm doing it. That's the tricky part of course, being aware that you're thinking about subjects on a different level of consciousness and still have the clarity of mind to consciously harvest what you come up with.
The question quest: 4/7
(what are these?)

The Artist’s Way:
The morning pages: 6/7
The artist’s date: Nope, my better half came down with a stomach flu, which kinda screwed up the planning. Stuff happens. And her comfort seemed a little more important than my artist's date. By the way, she's feeling better. ;-)
Weekly tasks: check
Preparations next week: tonight
(what is this?)

I have a bussy week ahead. Loads of work, the first tutor marked assigment at the OU, a challenging fitness program to see through. You know, life. But looking forward to it. If I can run 5.000 meter with the moon and a crowd of poplars on my side... :-)

Take care,

Karl

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