Let’s get something straight. For the record, I don’t like running. Well, maybe that’s a little euphemistic. I dislike running. That’s better, but it doesn’t hit the spot just yet. I hate running! That’s it, I hate it. Let me tell you why.
I know quite a few people that just love putting on their running shoes, step outside any given hour of the day, take a deep breath and take off. They tell me running clears their mind, it pauses their hectic day, it refreshes them, it’s the perfect way to relax and so on and so forth. Hardly any of them ever refer to the physical benefits they experience because of their habitual run in the park or around the block. It’s always about what their legs do for their heads. Which is exactly the reason why I hate to run.
The moment my heart rate goes up and breathing rhythm starts to catch up with what my legs are doing, the agony starts. My mind starts producing thoughts, memories, association, conversations…you name it. Forget about clearing, relaxing, pausing, refreshing or whatever Buddhist monk like state my running friends and colleagues claim to experience. Personally, running makes me go completely mental.
When I work out, I would like to think about anything but all the above symptoms I just named. I only want to be here and now, with a mind that is so focussed on the job at hand, that it doesn’t wander off. Like weightlifting or rock climbing, or the martial arts.
I mean, let’s face it. Wandering off is what I do for a living. I don’t want to be working when I’m working out. I want to do some clearing up, take a pause, feel refreshed and relaxed. But all running does for me – mentally that is – is work even harder…which, contradictory is it may seem, is exactly why I’m doing it anyway!
This journey is as much about honouring your own wholeheartedly felt talents, ambitions and possibilities, as it is about inviting yourself to leave your comfort zone.
Running, for me, is leaving my comfort zone with every single step I take. Not because my calves, heart or lungs can’t take it, but because it makes me feel as comfortable and cosy as arm wrestling Hulk Hogan for money.
I am just past half way working towards a 5K run – which is absolutely ridiculous distance if you’re a seasoned runner – and I’m hating every second of it. “You still do?”, one of my marathon runner colleagues asked me yesterday with a grin that I wanted to wipe off with a nearby chair. I said I did, which made him nod his head and say: “Good. Now keep running until everything silences.” I asked if that was even a remote possibility in my case and he convinced me that it was just a matter of time, or mileage, if you like.
I realised that very instant I have a number of books at home, written by people that would somehow like their readers to leave their comfort zone in all sorts off areas: drawing, power training, writing, networking…and all these books have one thing in common: they are written by people who never had to leave their own comfort zone.
These books are written by professional drawers, body builders, writers, business relationship managers…doing what they feel they were born to do. Which means they never had to leave their comfort zone. Not really.
Surely they have had their share of hardship and challenges, and I commend them for taking them on. Their stories are a constant inspiration. There is no doubt in my mind that they had to overcome many unexpected and fearsome foes to get to the place they rightfully earned. But they never left their comfort zone. Not really.
You see, there is no way an accomplished chef knows what it is like to hate cooking. There is no way a passionate ballet dancer knows what it feels like to hate dancing. Just as there is no way I can truly imagine what it must be like to not see yourself capable of change, of having groundbreaking ideas, of trusting your creative abilities.
That’s because I’m all about creativity and innovation. It’s what I feel I was born to do. Regardless whether I’m any good at it, because that is not even the point. The point is, I simply cannot leave my comfort zone practicing what I hold so dear. Paying a price I feel is worth it, is not the same as leaving my comfort zone. At best, I would be stretching what’s already there, paying a price I would consider fair.
Hence the running. Not because it gives me some heroic aura. Not because running 5k will change the world. But because it would remind me that if I hope to inspire people to start looking for the ostriches in their lives, if I aspire people to start pinching them, than I had better show these true heroes the respect they earn by not asking them to do so from within the safe boundaries of my own comfort zone. Does that make any sense?
My colleague said I should keep running, that the silence in my head will come, eventually. Please make it so. I have another run scheduled tomorrow morning at 06:30. My goodness, I hate this.
Take care,
Karl
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HARRISBURG, Pa. (AP) — As soon as he walked into the Penn State locker room, Mike McQueary heard running water and rhythmic, slapping sounds of "skin on skin." He looked in a mirror and saw a naked Jerry Sandusky, the former assistant coach, holding a young boy by the waist from behind, up against the wall in the campus shower.
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"I just saw Coach Sandusky in the showers with a boy and what I saw was wrong and sexual," McQueary recalled telling his father that night in 2002. He repeated it the next morning to coach Joe Paterno, who slumped deep into his chair at his kitchen table.
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McQueary's testimony Friday at a preliminary hearing for two Penn State officials accused of covering up the story was the most detailed, public account yet of the child sex abuse allegations that have upended the university's football program and the entire central Pennsylvania campus. Paterno and the university president have lost their jobs, and officials Tim Curley and Gary Schultz are accused of lying to a grand jury about what McQueary told them.
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A Pennsylvania judge on Friday held Curley, the university's athletic director, and Schultz, a retired senior vice president, for trial after the daylong hearing.
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Curley said that McQueary never relayed the seriousness of what he saw, and said he was only told that Sandusky was "horsing around" with a boy but that his conduct wasn't sexual.
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He said he told the university president about the episode and the top official at a children's charity that Sandusky founded, but never told university police. "I didn't see any reason because I didn't think at the time it was a crime," he told the grand jury, according to testimony read into the record on Friday.
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Curley, Schultz and Paterno have been criticized for never telling police about the 2002 charges. Prosecutors say Sandusky continued to abuse boys for six more years. Sandusky has denied having inappropriate sexual contact with boys.
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In about two hours on the witness stand, McQueary said again and again that what he saw was a sexual act, although he stopped short of saying he was sure that Sandusky, now 67, had raped the boy.
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"I believe Jerry was sexually molesting him and having some type of sexual intercourse with him," McQueary said on Friday. He said later he "can't say 100 percent" that Sandusky and the boy were having intercourse because he was seeing Sandusky from behind.
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He said after talking to his father, he went over to Paterno's home the next morning and said that what he had seen "was way over the lines, it was extremely sexual in nature." He said he would not have used words like sodomy or intercourse with Paterno; he did not get into that much detail out of respect for the coach, he said.
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Paterno told the grand jury that McQueary said he saw Sandusky doing something of a "sexual nature" with the youngster but that he didn't press for details.
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"I didn't push Mike ... because he was very upset," Paterno said. "I knew Mike was upset, and I knew some kind of inappropriate action was being taken by Jerry Sandusky with a youngster."
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