Last night a good friend of mine asked whether if it would have been a good idea to first have a proper academic discussion about creativity, before embarking on an ostrich pinching spree. To first lay down an agreed on theoretical foundation.
I agree with him that a theoretical discussion on the nature of creativity is indeed of great added value. And I will keep having it with others and myself. But what is it of added value to?
When I was about six years young, we were putting up the Christmas tree. I looked forward to that moment every time for weeks and weeks beforehand. The sheer thought of those Christmas lights being switched on was undiluted excitement. Only this year, the lights failed to work. Apparently the power cord had partially severed from the plug. My mother decided to buy new ones the day after. Only, for my six year old, overexcited mind, that was way too long to wait. And so I decided to do something about it myself that very instant. While no one was looking, I took a investigative look at the power cord and stripped away the coating with my teeth. I noticed two copper wirings. That didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. So I twisted both of them together and put them into the wall socket, convinced that my practical approach would do the trick. And boy, did it do the trick indeed.
Although, the Christmas tree didn’t light up...I did. In a flash, both literally and figuratively speaking, I learned more about electricity than any academic ilucidation would have been able to achieve. At least not so effectively and efficiently.
I have read and learned a heck of a lot more about electricity since that shocking December day. But somehow it is the one lesson that stuck with me the most. I bet you can imagine why. The question is, would I have had the same learning experience if I had first gotten the lecture about the dangers of electricity before plugging my hand in the socket? I don’t think so. Would I have been kept safe from harm? I’m sure I would have.
I guess I could have learned a great many things with the academic discussion on creativity alone. But something told me that only a 220 volt jolt in creativity would do the trick more effectively and efficiently. Which is exactly what I experienced this morning.
You see. For one thing, creativity involves leaving your comfort zone. It’s that feeling of unease mixed with excitement when you notice you’re taking a step you hadn’t taken before. A step that takes you beyond what is known and familiar to you. Something you can have a chat about, or something you can actually experience first hand.
Since January 1st I am doing exactly that: I have changed my daily habits quite dramatically, took on a number of mind stretching challenges and started feeding my brain with nothing but healthy foods and sound exercise (I will get back to this last item the coming week), which leaves me with little sheltering familiarity. And with ditching old habits for new ones, come growing pains. After three weeks of Pinching the Ostrich, my old habits decided the wouldn’t just pack their bags and leave without putting up a fight.
It started with my daily morning pages. I suddenly noticed the rather negative tone I produced. I heard my inner critic asking me what in heavens name I was doing up on Sunday morning, writing morning pages, getting ready for a morning run in the park. A dangerously undermining question when asked rhetorically. Which is exactly what my inner critic did. I fought back by finishing my pages, putting on my running shoes and stepping outside for that run. I had a mere 26 minute workout ahead of me. But it turned out to be the longest 26 minutes in years. All my old habits, thoughts and feelings about myself, about my journey, about my chances to succeed jumped me and went for the jugulars.
But I kept running, hoping that the fresh morning air would do me some good. It just got worse. After ten minutes I felt like giving in, giving up. I felt there was no way on earth I was going to win this. Yet at the same time I knew that if I was to back down now, I would have lost a whole lot more than just 15 minutes of running. Those self defeating feelings where so strong, so tangible, that I knew if I was to surrender to them at that point, I would have quit indefinitely.
But I remembered I had been there before. I knew where that road would lead me to. I didn’t want that, not really. In fact I caught myself saying “don’t you dare!” and “c’mon” out loud to myself on the track. I felt like on the verge of crying. I was overwhelmed.
Somehow, I finished those agonizing 26 minutes. I took a shower, had breakfast and took the kids to their roller skating class. It’s 3:30 PM now and I’m fine. For now. This is what it feels like when you leave your comfort zone. When old habits fight back, scratching and biting. Not quite the same as the academic approach alone.
A valuable lesson learned today. When you pinch an ostrich, it pinches back. Ferociously.
Take care,
Karl

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